THE PRETTY PISTOLERA

Gimme a "V"...

Gimme an "A".. gimme a "C"... gimme an "A"... gimme a "SHUN."  What's that spell?  Vacation!  Hip,hip, hooray for vacation!  A beach vacation is soon approaching. 

Sing it with me....

Crackberry, Schmackberry

For those of you that thought I was angry at you because I didn't return any of your text messages, calls, or email over the last two weeks... Sorry, my Blackberry's had a demon.  Apparently it will happily purge anything it wants if it is running out of memory.  No warning. No "help me work better for you" message. No "hey asshat, clean out your old crap" notice. No nothing.  It just randomly purged texts, call logs, and email.  Who knows what kind of good stuff I missed.  Problem is now solved.  I am back in the world of non-personal communication.  Hooray!

Gun Loving John's Must Have Menu

I received a lot of feedback regarding the staples of a gun collection.  Just for grins and giggles, I asked John for his official list of "must haves."  He was tickled to provide it and it took him all of 30 seconds to pull it together.  Here is John's list in no particular order:

• Ruger 22 semi-auto pistol
  
• Ruger 10/22, with a Tactical Innovations 25 round magazine
• Glock 17
• Glock 19
• Glock  26 (for concealed carry)
• Ruger 77/22 by S & H Arms
• 50 BMG bolt action
• 308 bolt action
• A minimum of five AR 15's
• Single action revolver
• Bolt action 17HMR
• M1 Garand
• Lever action 22
• Lever action 30.30
• 1911 (so you appreciate your Glocks)
• 44 Magnum
  
• Glock 34
• Walther P22 with can adapter
• Dillon Reloader
• Savage 22 bolt action
• Thompson Center Contender
• Disclaimer: John reserves the right to add new firearms on a regular basis.

My comments are as follows:

• I am surprised the list is so long (I'm totally fibbing, no surprises here).  However, I will point out that my list of make-up must haves is not this long.
• I now completely understand why we have multiple gun safes and a gun room.  If the list of necessities almost totals 25, then how many do we really own?  (John, don't answer that.  I don't really want to know.  Wait, you don't have any idea, do you?)
• Five ARs?  Seriously?

Investments

I just added a Ruger 10/22 rifle to my gun collection. (Big ah-ha moment... I have a gun collection!  Squeee!)  John is very passionate that every gun collection needs a 10/22.  I had no idea this rule existed.  Regardless,  I bet my itty-bitty gun collection has a better return-on-investment than my 401K. 

Love Notes to Help the Clueless Find Clues

Love Note #1

Dear fashion editors of the world,

I could give two hoots what Michelle Obama is wearing.  No matter how much you try to convince us, or yourselves, she does not surpass Carla Bruni-Sarkozy in beauty, class, or style.  Or Jackie O.  Or Princess Diana.  Quite frankly, Michelle should not be mentioned in the same breath.

Please open your clue bag and get a clue. 

XOXO,
Tracy

Love Note #2

Michelle,

I'll get right to the point... this picture is hilarious.  What photographer took this shot?  And what news organization published it?  (Answer:  AP and The Chicago Tribune, respectively).  Queen Elizabeth and Prince Phillip look like munchkins, making you and hubby appear disproportionately large.

In addition to pointing out how bad photography can make one look ridiculous, please allow me to give you some free fashion advice. 

1. The A-line skirt makes you look very bottom heavy.  No girl wants to resemble a pear. 
2. The waist of the skirt sits too high for your body shape.  It looks like you don't have a waist.
3. Either un-tuck the blouse or wear a black one so the eye does not stop right below your chest.  A monochromatic look would be much more flattering in this case.
4. Shortening the skirt just a little or wearing a higher heel will give the illusion of longer legs.
5. Lose the Barbara Bush pearls. They're just not for you.

I know the world it telling you that you have fabulous style. Honey, they are lying to you because they have a crush on your husband.  It hurts to hear the truth sometimes, so hang in there.

Please let me know if there is anything else I can do to help.

XOXO,
Tracy

Random Thoughts

It's been a light posting week.  Sorry.  Being on the road all of last week equals re-entry burn at the office this week.  Honestly, I have nothing of quality to share tonight.  I just have some randomness floating in my brain. 

• Spring is here.  Woo hoo!  Driving home in the daylight makes me a happy girl.  And the frog in the driveway tonight was also a reminder of the changing season.  April showers bring frogs.  Gross. 

• What was the American Idol crap last night?  That was the worst bunch of performances I've ever seen.  Awful.  The contestants even had free reign with their song choices... someone please explain to me how it sucked as bad as it did.  (Danny, you're still my fave.  Adam, you still scare me a little).

• We are trying to plan a vacation.  We're both desperate for a week on a beach.  With the current economic conditions you'd think we could find a great resort for a song.  Not so much, everything is still bloody expensive.  Economic downturn?  I hadn't noticed.

• New South Park tonight.  Squeeee.

McDrunk or McDead?

McDrunk or McDead?
Originally uploaded by prettypistolera

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Oklahoma!

Here is some video from the Oklahoma State IDPA Match last weekend. There is an Oklahoma YouTube Playlist on the Pretty Pistolera YouTube Channel, too. You can see more video of both me and John, and you can check out some of the stages.  Before you break out the popcorn and enjoy all of the super-fun gunny video goodness, please note the following:

• John is sporting a nuts hat.  He thinks it is hilarious and distracts the other shooters.  (Bet you can guess what I think).
• Hot pink ear protection rocks. So do plaid scarves.
• The camera adds ten pounds.  Be sweet.

My Morning Funny...

I saw this sign while I was headed to the mall this morning.  I am happy the cashier showered.  However, I don't think I've ever experienced a "friendly" restroom.

Crazy People (Part Deux)

I vow to add the following items to my travel checklist:

• Pepper Spray - I plan to buy another Kimber Guardian Angel Pepper Blaster that is for travel only.

• Knife (one that is not too scary) -  And I'm going to learn how to use it. 

The new items will always be in my suitcase (along with my travel headlamp).  I always have to check my bag (too many lotions and potions) so there is no reason not to have something for self-defense.  I would prefer the Glock 26, but I have a feeling my paycheck supplier would frown upon it.  I can see it... "Hey Mr. Bossman, I'll meet you at the gate.  I need to declare my firearm." 

PS - I apologize upfront for beating a dead horse.  Notice a teasing brush is not on the list.